“I count myself in nothing else so happy as in a soul remembering my good friends.” Shakespeare once remarked. One of my achievements in my life is that I have several intimate friends and I have been benefiting a lot from them.
What is a real friend as well as friendship? People take it for granted that all men have their own friends. To some extent, no one denies it correctness, since a bird has a nest, a spider has a web, and a man has friendship. Almost all men could tell that a friend in need is a friend in deed, but few of them would put it into action. When a friend of his is in need or even in danger, he would simply consider it for a while and then conclude that it is unworthy for him to take that risk for his friend. That’s what he considers friend and friendship as. He is a good friend that speaks well of us behind our backs. Always remember that calamity is man’s true touch and act it.
We have fewer friends than we imagine, but more than we know. In prosperity our friends know us, and in adversity we know our friends. Some so-called friends of yours may surround you when you are wealthy or propitious to them. On the contrary, when the day of losing your shirt or kissing good-bye to your power comes, they leave you alone or even hit you when you are down. Surely we do, we serious extremists, in the absolute confident belief that those are not your friends, at least not the helpful ones. There is a true story of one of my friends. He is quite clever and there are often a group of alleged friends around him. Yet he knows those are not his real friends. That day he saw a girl and was struck by her behavior, her pureness, her manner and her beauty. And later on they got to be familiar to each other and became friends. For quite a long time, she made use of him but he did not notice it until she left him when she succeeded in going abroad with his help. Being immersed in great sorrow, he failed to enter a good college. He did not recover until the day of another girl rushed into his heart. She comforted him and aroused his latent entreprenant spirit and it also convinced that friendship has the skill and observation of the best physician, the diligence of the best vigilance of the best nurse and the tenderness and patience of the best mother.
Fate chooses your relations, you choose your friends. Every person has his own way to find his friend. Yet there are a few basic laws for people to seek friends. First, a man who has friends must show himself friendly. Every time you meet a person, show your friendliness and sincerity. How are you supposed to have a friend with a hostile attitude or without trusting him? Friendship should be based on credit. A failure in friendship often results in suspicion. Remember that suspicion is the poison of friendship. Secondly, let time tell you. Time cleans the dirt of complicated period of time. Thirdly, adversity incarnates it. You two encounter difficulties, both of you sit down and think of a way out and consequently he and you manage to face them together. Congratulations, you have found a new friend of yours. The example aforesaid convinces it. Always be slow in choosing a friend.
How shall you deal with your friends as well as friendship? Never flatter your friend but ever venture to perceive his faults. Never proclaim need to your friend but ever be conscious to exert yourself to lend a hand to him. Never query your friend but ever trust him. Never rely too much on your friend.
A saying approves why we should not flatter our friends, which is that I cannot be your friend and your flatterer too. It is difficult to know flatterers from friends, for as a wolf resembles a god, so a flatterer, a friend.
How could friends get help if they always proclaim help to each other? A real friend would never voluntarily ask helps from the other, but the other ever does. A friend should never be made use of. You are never supposed to benefit from your friend until he gives a hand to you forwardly. And Maurois says, “True friendship foresees the needs of others rather than proclaims its own ever approves it.” It is not so much our friends’ help that helps us as the confident knowledge that they will help us, so be more independent rather than wish to receive help from your friends.
A majority of people takes it for granted that real good friends should stay together, otherwise the friendship would get cool and fade away. When they are in harness, they could see each other and talk to each other all the time. However, friends agree best at a distance.
A notable one said, “A hedge between keeps friendship green.” So-called friends always say that they are good friends and they could share everything, even their inner feelings. However, since we are mortals, friendships are best kept to a moderate level, rather than sharing the very depths of our souls. Otherwise, once you share it, you will find the friendship between you two decreases, since the more share it, the less firmness of friendship would be.
The entire splendor in the world is not worth a good friend. Francis Bacon says, “A man dies often as he loses a friend. But we gain new life by new contacts, new friends.” The example aforesaid approves it. No one has denied the fact that the best mirror is one’s old friend. A good friend could always pacificate you when you are agonizing, share the happiness with you, and assist you when you are in trouble as well as make progress together with you. He will never leave you like those locusts when they eat up all the green leaves and then move to a new place. He would always appear when you need him.
No one knows the origin of friendship, but still some know the meaning of it that friendship is one soul in two bodies. But to my disappointment, the friendship nowadays has been changing a lot, to be more exact, degenerating. If a man is required to choose one hundred and a friend, he would probably select his friend. But between ten thousand dollars and a friend, he would hesitate. And before one million, he would most likely choose money, rather than his friend, or even his best friend.
Friendship as well as friend is no longer important as it once was nowadays since people have less and less friends and they consider that it costs too much time and money to keep his friendship in constant repair and they are not willing to as well as afraid to afford the expense of helping friends. If a man does not make new acquaintance as he advances through, he will soon find himself alone.
We have three kinds of friends: those who love us, those who are indifferent to us and those who hate us. Those friends that love us are friends of ours in feelings. Those who are indifferent to us are friends of ours in study. Those who hate us are friends of ours in self-improvement. If you are so fortunate to have all of them, we have founded the base of future achievements.
I am so glad to have found all of them, have you?