老外的生活糗事　每天翻译些　误乐大众３

felix3118 2009-09-03 07:40:37

Today, my mum hit me with her car as she was backing out of the drive way, hurting my leg and crushing my bike. For the third time this year. FML
今天,我的妈妈倒车时撞倒了我,伤倒我的腿和压坏我的自行车。今年这是第三次了。FML
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Today, I went to the dentist to get a hole in my tooth filled. After the dentist had injected the anesthetic into my gums, she realized that none of the electrical equipment were working. She sent me home. My entire right side of my face is completely numb and swollen for no reason. FML

今天,我去看牙医,有一个洞,得补补。牙医注射麻醉剂进我的牙龈后,才意识到所有的设备不能工作了。她送我回家。我的右半边脸是完全麻木和肿胀。FML
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Today, I thought it would be sexy to surprise my boyfriend by hiding in the closet naked and pouncing on him as he came to get his pants. I never got to the pouncing. Apparently my boyfriend has heightened reflexes so instead I got slapped hard across the face. My ear is still ringing. FML
今天，为了给男友一个惊喜，我裸体躲在壁橱里。我从来没进来过。显然我男朋友已经提高了反应而打了我一耳光。我的耳朵还在轰轰响。FML
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Today, I was going to work and got in the elevator. I was going through my bag for my phone and asked the man in the elevator to push the button for me. He gave me a look of death before I realized he had no arms. FML
今天,我正要去上班,在电梯里。我伸手取电话,请前面男人帮按下电梯按钮。他恶狠狠盯了我眼。我才意识到他没有手。FML
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Today, I was turned down from my dream job at a graphic design firm. Before the interview, concerned about my hobo style would not impress the company, I shaved, cut my long hair, and even bought a suit. They said I wasn't "free-spirited and creative enough." FML
今天，我让一个梦寐以求的平面设计公司拒绝了，拒绝我的理由“自由精神和创新不够。”。面前，为了留下好印象，我剪我的长头发,买了一件西装。

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Today, my identical twin sister was nice enough to switch classes with me so she could take a test I wasn't ready for. Since we look so much alike the plan went over well. Until we found out she accidentally wrote her name on top of the paper instead of mine. FML
今天，我与孪生妹妹换了个班级好让她代我考试，我们长得非常相像，不会有问题。直到我看见试卷上写了她的名字而不是我的。
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Today, I was having lunch with my boyfriend and talking about how stressed out I've been because of my job. While I'm speaking, he pulls out his phone and says his boss is texting him and it was important. There was a game of Tetris reflecting onto his glasses from his phone. FML
今天，与男友一起吃饭时，抱怨工作多么的累时，他拿起手机，说老板的短信很重要。从侧面，我看见那是俄罗斯方块。
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Today, I went to my school to take my yearbook picture. I was wearing a shirt that said ANALOG on the front. When I bent in to take the picture, part of my shirt overlapped itself. Now I'm known as the ANAL kid in the yearbook. FML
今天，我去学校拿毕业照。那时我穿着胸前有有“ANALOG”字母的T恤，拍照时，T恤有些皱纹。现在，我已ANAL（肛门）小孩闻名。
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Today, I fell asleep in class. Usually, people just sit still when asleep. Nope, not me. Not only had I been violently rocking and nodding my head, the teacher stopped class for everyone to see for 5 minutes as she made jokes. What woke me? The intense laughter followed by embarrassment. FML
今天，我在课堂上睡着了。一般来讲，坐在那不动才会睡，而我摇晃着脑袋还是睡着了。老师停下来，看了我5分钟的笑话。大家跟着哄堂大笑。
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Today, I was driving into a parking lot with some friends. I carelessly passed a sign when my friend said, "Wait what did that sign say?" I backed up to read it and guess what it said: "Severe Tire Damage. Do Not Back Up." Now all 4 of my tires are slashed. FML
今天，我与朋友开车去停车场，当经过一标牌时，朋友问“那上面写些什么？”，我倒车去看：“严重伤害轮胎，不要倒车。”现在，我有4个快报毁的轮胎。555
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Today, while lifeguarding, I received six prank phone calls on the official pool phone. When it

rang again, I picked it up, told them to go fuck themselves, hung up, and then left the phone

off the hook. A second later, my cellphone rang. It was my boss, telling me to get a sense of

humor. FML
今天，当我学习救和训练时，接到6个恶作剧电话。再一次打来时，我拿起电话骂“TMD,草泥马。”挂是。一

分钟后，手机响了，是我老板打来的，告诉我得有点幽默感。
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Today, I saw a whole bunch of coats on sale for $5.99 and labeled as "damaged". The coats were in decent shape, so I decided to buy one. Once I got home, I realised that they were on sale because each button has, what looks like, a swastika on it. FML
今天，我看见一堆标着“损坏”的衣服以5.99美元处理出售，这些衣服非常体面，所以决定买件。回家后，发现钮扣上有个纳粹党所用的十字记号才处理出售的。
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Today, I wanted to make love with my boyfriend for the first time. I wanted everything to be perfect. The CD kept skipping, the rose petals had ants all over them, and he couldn't get it up. FML

今天，我想与男友第一次OOXX，希望一切顺利。放着优扬的音乐，他却勃不起来.
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