老外的生活糗事　每天翻译些　误乐大众 4

felix3118 2009-09-05 01:32:34

Today, walking home from work, I saw a little boy crying, so I crouched down to his eye level. I asked him what was wrong, his reply was to kick me in the groin. FML
今天,走在下班回家的路上,我看见一个小男孩哭了,我蹲下来问他发生了什麽事,回答是踢我腹股沟。FML

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Today, I was visiting my girlfriend's house to meet her parents. We were having a nice conversation and her mom then asked "What have you done recently that was great?" I replied without thinking "Your daughter." FML
今天，我去拜访女友的父母。我们很谈得来，她妈妈问“你最近有什么骄傲的事吗？”我毫无思考回答“追你女儿”。

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Today, I saw my boyfriend after not seeing him for 7 months. During this time I have lost a lot of weight and am proud of it. My boyfriend didn't say anything about the lost weight. When we were alone and things started to heat up, he took off my bra and said "I think your tits are smaller." FML
今天,我与男友分离7月后重聚。在这段时间里,我成功减肥。我的男朋友并没说什么。当我们独处,事情就开始升温,他脱掉胸罩,说道:“我觉得你乳房小了。”FML

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Today, I was walking through my house when I saw a strange man sitting on my couch. I asked him who he was and he said he was a friend of my mom's. He told me to join him and when I sat down, he punched me in the face and stole my cell phone, wallet, and car keys. FML
今天,到家时,我看到一个陌生的人坐在我的沙发上。我问他说,“你是谁”、他说他是我妈妈的一个朋友。他告诉我和他一起去玩,当我坐了下来,他猛击在我的脸上,偷走了我的手机、钱包和汽车钥匙。FML

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Today, I tried to wash my cat in the shower, naked myself as it seemed convenient. He disapproved, proceeding to scratch my manparts and nicking a vein. I just got back from the hospital with a blood infection, swollen manparts, and an 8" needle hole in my butt where I had to get antibiotics. FML
今天,我努力帮猫洗澡,为了方便脱光了衣服。它抓伤了我。为了打抗生素我屁股上有8个针洞了。FML

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Today, I discovered the guy that sits next to me in class is actually a girl. Not only is that bad, but we had to write a paper about each other. I used the words "him" and "he", and read it to the whole class. FML
今天,我发现同桌是个男孩。更坏的是,在写关于同桌的作文里，我用了“他”,念给全班同学。FML

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Today, my girlfriend called me and told me to come to her college, so I did. I was greeted by the campus police who told me to stop harassing her because she no longer wants to be with me. Then they told me I was no longer welcome on campus and hereby banned. She used campus police to dump me. FML
今天,我的女朋友打电话给要我去她的大学,我去。她学校校警要我不要再骚扰她，因为她不再想和我在一起。然后,他们告诉我,他校园不再欢迎我，禁止我进入。她用校园警察把我甩了。FML

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Today, I was babysitting a boy who was 11 years old. He told me that he loved me and wanted to be my boyfriend. I told him that I think he is a really great kid but I'm 17 so it would never work out. He said okay. When his parents came home he told them that I hit him and started crying. FML
今天，我照顾一个１１岁的小男孩，他告诉我他爱我，要我当他女友。我告诉他，他是个好孩子，但是我都17岁了，不合适。当他父母回来时，他哭着说我打了他。

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Today, I was talking to my mom about when I have kids. I told her I may want two or three. She immediately cut me off and told me to stick to one, and that any more than that will be a burden. I am the second born child of my family. FML
今天,我和我妈妈讨论生孩子的问题。我告诉她我想要两个或三个。她立刻打断了我,让我至多一个,多的那个是负担。我是家中第二胎。FML

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Today, I called my girlfriend's parent to ask for her hand in marriage. They were shocked and told me that they would have to refuse. Apparently my girlfriend had told them last week that she had met someone new at work and didn't know how to break it off with me. FML
今天,我打电话给我女朋友的家长向她求婚。他们很吃惊,告诉我,他们将不得不拒绝。显然我的女朋友告诉他们上周在新单位有新的恋人,却不知道如何拒绝我。FML

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Today, I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic cutlery. Someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimated that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. I ate alone. FML
今天,我订外卖,当我观看,当送到时，我见袋子里有四套塑料餐具。我想饭店估计这至少有四个人食物。其实，就我一个人吃了。FML

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