!!!Java drives me mad!!!--(hugos)

I bought a book on java at 1996, and since then, i determined to be a java desciple. But because of large multifarious reasons, i had not read through that book yet; therefore I had practiced java programming even less. Actually, i had never done that several months ago.
And now, I recognize the popularity of java, the attractiveness of java, the mistery of java, so I decided to pick up that old book again, attempting to re-enter the whole new world. During this time, I found everything about java has taken an outstanding changeing. Whenever I practiced what the book tells me to do, I was told that you had use a deprecated XXX ! I even could not find the class - java.net.www.html! Did that class ever exist in JDK1.0.2 ? Did that class disppear in JDK1.3.1 ? Oh, my god! Java drives me mad! I have no way to get help.
A month ago, I tighten my girdle and bought another book <<Advanced programming for the java 2 platform>>. To my surprise, i was greatly confused by so many concepts such as J2EE, J2ME, J2SE,EJB, RMI, JNI, JINI, COBRA. What the hell are they???
Fortunately, I download a good PDF book <<Think Java 2>>. It has 1120 pages. I always hate to read on the screen. I prefer to read lying on the bed. Then print that file page by page use a noisy and slowly deskjet? Oh, my god! Java drives me mad! Buy a new book? sorry, NO ENOUGH MINERALS.
!!!!!
Here are questions below:
1. There are so many java IDEs. Visual J++, J++Builder, Visual age forJava, Forte for Java, etc. Which is best? or which is suite for me ?
Forte for Java is extremely slow. Visual age for Java looks like very strange. Visual J++ is not pure java, but support ActiveX. All of the IDEs have their own java classes. Doesn't this be a hindrance for cross developing or cross-platform developing? I never use J++Builder. How about J#.NET? I hate .NET. It's extremely slow too!

2. It's is said SWING is better than AWT. yes, i agree. SWING privides more beautiful GUI, more functionality, higher efficiency. But when i design an applet, embed the applet inside a html file, and put the html file on a WWW server. If i use AWT only, it runs OK. If i use SWING, i can see nothing of the applet from client side by IE. I have to first install the JRE and then manually set the CLASSPATH's value. If the server have one thousand clients, how to make it runs OK? This is so called "cross-platform java"? Oh, my god. Java drives me mad!.

I like MSDN. It's very convenient and directly. From it you can get almost any help when you use MS's product. But how about java? Java documentation from Sun are badly organized! I could not get help directly.
It's always the case: I click many links to find a class's definition, at last i often find NOTHING!

So much for this...
I am tired...
I am crazy...
I am mad...